P R O F I L E. *

from childhood till beyond

我喜欢他；他知道吗？
他不知道，也许永远都不会知道。
可是，我活得挺愉快的。因为他带来了我生命中的欢笑。我生命也因此充满了色彩。
虽然，生命有了他的出现后，充满了色彩。可是颜色不重是亮丽的，也会有黑云到来的时候。
爱你的人不会让你为他而哭泣的。
那时的我，心里想着的是他和那句话，但眼泪却不停的流着。
我不见意付出。因为爱情就是那么的伟大。我也当然不见意接受。
可是，单恋也未免太痛苦了吧。太残忍了吧。






this sweetness is quoted from hiim. for whichever reason - i dunch know. there haven't been any chance that i had been wat i am. it's hiim that had changed my life to this certain extent. of cos. there's always my parents who had nurtured me into wat i am today. but with hiim. life's different. will he be gone soon with the wind that changes its directions all the time. or is he gonna stay in my sweet lil' heart forever. i dunch know too.

the other him. the farmer of the village. he brought light and shine into our lives. but he's hardly around to make our days all the time. but. he's still a great and wonderful owner of this lil' tomato village of ours. missing him.

enough of them. now abt me. i wanna be the sweet ger of hiis forever. but. he's always made me cry. emotions are hard to control. but. i'm now on the clouds. he's so cute and sweet too. juz like me. okie. abt me. coming to 19 this december. i love seeing him dance and listening to hiim sing. i love haagen dazs. and pink. as well as green. loves fQc and the icecream factory. i juz love to be loved. ^^


heez.. wrote this for some purpose that cannot be revealed as yet.. soon u'll find out.. ^^






yesh.. i'm back from marina south.. though our initiated plan.. no.. is plans.. didn't really work.. but i believe we did enjoy ourselves to quite great extent lahs.. fQc's outing was a success once again..


okiez.. me karlyn jiaxin yumin and huiqi met at 2 plus.. went around orchard trying our luck.. heez.. thanks everyone for accompanying me.. i know it's damn retarded lah.. singapore is so big.. heez.. but.. ^^ never try.. never know.. our hunt for a tee was such a failure lahs.. nothing nice that suits.. why like that? but.. we've got something else instead.. god.. he's so lucky and fortunate lahs.. he's getting so much from us.. but i still want a tee.. oh yesh.. i wanna get that tank thingy.. so cool lah.. should i? hmm..


hmm.. then our nice dinner @ marina south with jun and yuer as well.. gosh.. we er.. wasted so much food lahs.. hahaha.. okiez.. we were acting like thieves.. but.. well.. haha.. was so bloated after all the eating.. i cooked sausages.. hahaha.. and i think they are nice? okiez.. i'm retarded.. they are only sausages lahs.. but.. ^^ i'll go get a pack of sausages and cook for hiim next time.. hahas.. i wonder how's that box of thing..


okiez.. after dinner.. we went for pool @ k-pool.. okiez.. wat's with that name.. anyways.. hahaha.. we encountered some damn eerie stuff lahs.. er.. 11 and 12.. is that fQc's unlucky number or something? hmm.. okiez.. they had their first round of game.. and then we realised that two balls were missing.. i know there's always tendency that the balls get stuck in the passageway out.. so we spent like 15 mins or so looking high and low for that two missing balls..

we were using table 12.. and er.. they played with some balls at table 11.. so it's either stuck in one of them? after 15 mins plus trying to find it.. we couldn't find them lahs.. and u know wat.. the two balls that are missing.. haha.. so coincidental lahs.. 11 and 12.. freaking? hmm.. eeries.. but.. blahs.. i've nothing with that lahs.. i dun believe lahs.. but.. juz dun understand why so qiaoz lahs.. but.. minutes later that two balls juz pop out of nowhere when yumin tried to throw balls into the holes again.. i dunno why.. haha.. damn dumb lahs..


anyways.. haha.. juz our weird encounter.. but.. we had fun after all.. hmm.. i juz dunno why.. but she keeps rebutting with every single thing i say lah.. hais.. nevermind.. my favourite phrase.. 'i'm getting used to it..' ^^


hmm.. shall end here ba.. i'm waiting for hiis reply.. when will that be? ^^








heez.. i'm happie.. really happie.. heez.. he's so sweet.. so keai.. so cutes lah.. the look when he was trying to smell wat was the thing.. then.. he said it's still hot.. when er.. i think it's not lah.. haha.. so cute..


i love 18 august loads and tonnes.. the sweetest day ever.. i was on cloud 10000000 ar.. he said he wanted to wear it.. he knows it from me.. and he said he read.. and.. heez.. so sweets.. so keai lahs..


everyone said the thing is so nice.. haha.. we are proud of it.. right karlyn? heez.. someone wanted to see it.. saying it's so nice.. and he didn't let.. so nice lahs.. so.. so.. argh.. i love hiim so so so much..

heez.. truthfully.. i hope this is not gonna be a short term thing ar.. i know i'll still have to face it ar.. whether he decides to leave or not.. but.. i dun want.. really dun.. please stay.. can? i think he only wants to hear this from someone else not me lahs.. but.. ^^








great.. i think i'm totally going nutz.. i really do miss hiim lah.. haiz.. even my mummy sees the craziness in me canz.. first thing i do when i get home.. check out if that hiim is online.. or have hiim been online.. everytime i get a chance to use the com.. i've got the tendency of checking my mail juz to see if that hiim replied.. can someone juz help me get hiim out of my mind.. or izzit my heart? haiz.. i'm feeling miserable..


so coincidental lah.. my mummy was juz telling me to go visit hiis workplace.. and haha.. that hiim has a cool way of inviting ppl there? heez.. then my mummy was like even asking me abt hiis birthday thing.. wow.. my actions got so obvious? gosh.. so i can tell.. how much i seriously miss hiim lahz..


but.. why does that hiim always have to make me cry? why can't hiim be like the others.. be there to make me laugh.. and smilez.. and joke.. and to juz be myself.. the cheerful self? sometimes.. i think it's totally horrible to fall for the wrong person.. this time.. i fell for the wrong hiim.. and this wrong hiim leaves me feeling horrible everytime.. but.. something i still have to say..

i love hiim.. i really do.. though i know he wouldn't know.. never ever..
but.. i juz cannot bring myself to forget hiim.. sobx..


i'm praying hard for days to pass.. partly.. i know time will heal my pain.. and bring hiim out of my life.. but.. more of the fact that.. i want saturday to come.. fast and i really mean fast.. besides.. there's another thing that i'm looking forward to.. though chances are slim.. but.. u never know until u really give it a try..


i think i've never put in this much effort on anyone before ba.. not that i really remembered.. everything used to come so easily i thought.. but this time.. i'm wrong.. totally wrong.. i guess.. sometimes when u try too hard.. it will result in an inverse effect lah.. juz like when u put in too high hopes.. there will be greater disappointment.. the greater u want it.. the harder it comes.. maybe i should let go le? but.. i couldn't.. help.. think i'm soon gonna drown..


- i miss hiim. him. and my dear pals too. -



hmm.. actually i kinda not too sure wat i should blog abt lor.. okiez.. it's like it's national day.. so yesh.. everyone.. happY natiOnaL daY!!


yupz yupz.. i had an extremely memorable and happie national day this early morning though.. he'll always brighten my day.. i'm so in love with him.. wat should i do? hmm.. from short short replies to the longer ones.. to now.. replies which asks me stuff.. which i have to reply? hahahaha.. i love him..


anyway.. loads of artistes are in town this period of time? think there's like weibo.. fir.. 183.. kone.. dylan.. qiuzhe.. mayday.. blah blah blah.. too many to name le lah.. went to see weibo.. mayday and kone.. weibo so sweet.. liyang so cutez.. haha.. though i like dalun de? but.. er.. didn't have much encounter with him lah.. so i think liyang's cuter.. haha.. er.. oh ya.. monster also so keai.. oh gosh.. heez.. i'm beginning to miss xiaocun again le.. sobx.. when is he ever coming de?


oh yesh.. did i post abt fan qie cun being one year old? hahaha.. yesh.. fan qie cun's one year and one day old le.. we'll continue to bind strong ba.. juz like wat i told him.. maybe quarrels and disagreements between a relationship is there to help strengthen our bonds.. ^^


hmm.. think that's abt it le ba.. i hope he'll reply again.. i seriously do hope lah.. waiting for that day when i really will have the courage to ask him for wat i've always wished for.. till then..





hmm.. it's been so long since i last blogged.. okiez.. first things first..


i think he's changed.. i dunno.. but it had been a drastic change.. am i being too sensitive or izzit that my nick juz scared him off? or.. maybe it's juz true that he's changed? i dunno.. i really dunno.. but this 'change' made an impact on me.. i feel so.. sad.. so.. affected.. i miss him.. i miss chatting with him.. i miss everything that we once did together.. hmm.. i'm missing him.. but.. he doesn't know.. so wat's the whole point after all? i haven't seen him for so long either le.. sobx sobx..


good friends are like stars high up in the sky.. u dun always see them.. but u know they are always there.. ^^


yupz.. went nydc (oh yesh.. ever wondered wat does it stand for?) for dinner with rane on thursday becoz of the stupid voucher we got.. eat until we almost puke and die.. and wat's more.. there's more to come for each of us after that meal.. oh my.. we ordered one destiny's child (baked pasta in tomato sauce and blahz..) .. one mushroom ham baked pasta.. a plate of garlic toast with cheese.. one potato salad.. and hahaha.. one jug of chocolate milk elephanccino and another strawberry milk elephanccino.. and mind u.. it's not a cup? it's a jug.. we really almost died in that place.. but.. haha.. we really can eat? ^^


anyway.. fan qie cun is coming to a year old le? yeah.. 363 days passed.. two more days before it's officially one year old.. the time we've spent together during these 365 days.. 8760 hours.. 525600 mins.. 31536000 seconds are all extremely memorable.. thanks everyone for being there.. ^^ i'm sure xiaocun's proud of us too.. *smilez.. may we continue to bind strong..


haha.. i think i started writing this like one hour ago? heez.. i was busy 38-ing.. heez.. oops.. blahz.. anyway.. i'm looking forward to the 9th.. heez.. can see weibo? actually also not very high or wat lah.. juz.. er.. someone for me to divert my attention for a little while? i'm putting too much attention on that someone le.. that someone who made me a real silly ger.. that someone who composed baby bye.. haiz..


hmm.. wat else am i to say? er.. abt school.. i'll be in ardc for seven weeks.. one week extra compared to others.. haha.. so cool huh? doing some sports council thing.. something that could not be disclosed.. i juz signed some documents juz now.. haha.. when i've already like worked on this client project since the first day i was there? ^^ but anyway.. i spent like 3/4 the time i am in school sleeping.. writing stuffs and sewing.. blahz.. boring..


kiez ba.. think i'll end here le.. i'll try to update as often as i can ba.. :p

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