learning to love is learning to let go.
everytime i visit his blog.. it tells me something meaningful..


tomorrow finally marks the end of my examinations.. SMILES.
i know i'm DEAD but i shall enjoy myself before i start bothering about what i should do if i really fail a module ba.. afterall.. fretting over it now also wouldn't help.. (:


i said the cheerful and lively huiyi would be back.. and i'm feeling her coming back already.. ^^

i still prefer myself this way.. haha.. i guess the way i express my stress is quite different ba.. even my mummy says so.. she says that i haven't been talking much at home.. and everyone could sense it.. hahaha.. but no one come tell me la.. not i want de.. i didn't even realise.. =x

anyway.. now that great princess huiyi is back.. i'm all ready to enjoy myself to the fullest!! (:




i know i have nothing better to do.. anyway.. i'm gaining courage wor.. hahahahahaha.. super proud of myself.. i submitted photo for him.. =x


heez.. anyway.. i'm looking forward to FRIDAY! (:

with LOVE, jacyie.

怎么办感觉甜又酸
偷偷爱你快乐又孤单
怎么办爱却不能讲
你真讨厌不来帮我的忙
i really have no idea what happened to me.. this isn't me at all.. i've never run away from things like that.. but i'm doing it now.. i really dun understand why..

but then.. i guess this feeling would be over soon.. maybe it's jus a craze more than anything else.. seriously.. i wanna find back the real me.. i've never been like that.. ):


tomorrow would be my second last day of examinations.. but i'm totally not prepared for tomorrow's paper.. dun even see the meaning of sitting for the paper.. ):

but it's alright.. it's gonna be over real soon.. i look forward to holidays.. but not 27th definitely.. i jus hope i'll pass all the modules.. i'll be contented with jus a mere pass.. afterall.. i didn't put in as much effort as i was deemed to..


good luck for examinations tomorrow and the day after.. ^^

with LOVE, jacyie.

jus tell me what am i supposed to do when you are totally running out of time.. and yet.. you aren't in the mood to totally put your concentration on studying?


i'm left with one and a half day.. but i've got TWO modules to study.. and it consists of A LOT of history.. i've got no mood..

besides the weather these days promotes sleep.. waking at almost 11 everyday.. and by the time it's 2.. i feel like sleeping again.. and unlike everyone else.. naps are usually one to two hours.. mine's like four or five hours..

and.. by the time it's 12 plus 1 in the night.. i feel like heading to bed again.. i totally dun deny that i'm probably born a pig..


dearest yumin ar.. thanks for putting so much effort for my birthday.. but i think no need to plan too much ba.. there's like no reason for wonderful gatherings anymore.. bonds have weakened.. bond buildings are tough.. jus by having a small hangout or chilling around would do.. ^^


time really flies.. another year is coming to an end.. and looking back.. i seriously dunno what conducive stuffs have i done for this past 11 months.. upon graduation.. it was a whole three months of slacking at work.. then into uni.. and three months passed so quickly that i dun even know what am i really doing..

life always passes faster as you age.. it's like in the past.. we always look forward for year end.. and it seems like it takes ages for it to arrive.. and now.. even without realising it.. it's another year end..


guess i gotta get back to studying.. i'm running totally short of time.. ):

with LOVE, jacyie.

with LOVE, jacyie.

If You Love Someone, Let Them Go. If They Return To You, It Was Meant To Be. If They Don't, Their Love Was Never Yours To Begin With.

i guess it's jus all fated.. i saw this from a place which i didn't even know why i visited though i'm still quite pissed at him.. like he is at us..


i'm sorry my dear girls.. i didn't mean to let my tears flow down yesterday.. i did try to hold them back.. at least it remained where it was supposed to be for more than an hour or so.. but that few drops couldn't help it but came down.. i'm really sorry if i've had dampened your moods..

maybe all the stress and the uneasiness that i'm undergoing isn't that easy to overcome.. my heart is aching for some i dunno how to describe reasons.. i guess it's jus my dumbness that had caused all this.. i'm always doing the wrong things.. so there's no one else to blame but myself..


although sometimes.. i have to say.. my family are so supportive of me that.. it makes me fall even deeper.. or maybe not that they were totally supportive.. but that.. they worry that i'll be left on the shelf.. becos of my 'they presumed to be' very high expectations.. but i'll have to say again.. my expectations aren't that high.. like i've said.. if they were.. i wouldn't have fallen into them so easily..

i think my life is such a repetitive cycle.. it would jus be another period of time i try to forget and get another crush into my mind.. get super upset.. and then the cycle continues.. HOW DUMB. dumb is the only word i can use to describe myself..


my dear girls.. THANK YOU. (:

i really thank you girls for accompanying me yesterday.. thanks so much.. besides.. spending money to go see the not main people was like so a waste of money.. but you all still willingly went with me.. thank you.. i really dunno how to express my thanks but to say.. thank you..

and yumin.. i've got to thank you for putting in so much effort for my birthday.. i'm really touched while feeling super shocked and surprised when you told me you asked him about coming.. i know i shouldn't be putting in hope.. but i couldn't help it.. not that i expect him to come.. but i seriously do hope he'll to the very very least wish.. that's all i expect.. that's really all.. ):

i cannot help but say.. I DO MISS HIM.


anyway.. examinations have come midway.. and i'm getting a little too relaxed that i guess i'll probably do totally bad for the remaining papers.. and to put it.. for all papers.. cos the previous two aren't good either.. moral of the story.. i'm not suited to be a student.. it's totally not my way of life..

i'm looking forward to the end of examinations.. end of this stress period that i'm going thru.. then maybe.. my post will become more cheerful and lively.....

with LOVE, jacyie.

tomorrow is the day!

my goodness.. i never expected it to be this fast.. it's tomorrow.. no.. i mean it's less than 24 hours away..

english isn't posting a big problem for me.. afterall it's jus a pass or fail grade and failing isn't easy.. just pray i dun write out of point that is..

economics is practically done.. jus need a little revision tomorrow before the paper on saturday i guess.. i'm probably more of a mathematics person.. economics isn't that hard afterall..


OH! and it will be.. yes.. something i did once looked totally forward to.. but then again.. isn't very sure about it now.. but i guess i shall jus go with my two darlings to enjoy before i start mugging real hard for the remaining three papers that might jus kill me..


so i guess sunday would be a day home to study.. there's so much to cover.. especially for history.. i think i totally ain't someone who will appreciate the past.. it totally dun interest me at all..


was doing the forum posting for japanese studies.. i'm surprised by how much crap i can come up with.. but thank goodness it isn't history.. i'll probably have nothing to comment if it was for history.. and i think japanese studies is easy becos of the fact that i'm afterall pretty into japanese culture.. heez.. the amount of shows that i have watched do benefit to some extend.. =p


an early night for me today.. tomorrow marks the beginning of a little combat.. haha..


Good Luck to everyone having examinations!
and.. Good Luck to me too.. ^^v.

with LOVE, jacyie.

You are energetic, cheerful and full of energy! You are an explosive character, however, you might not notice or think about what others want, so do lend them a listening ear and a comforting shoulder.
Magical Advice: Do not expect to always come in first if not you might be faced with disappointment.

This is a great period for you! Something new is set to arrive. Be optimistic and forward-looking and you will be able to see the beauty of it all. Concentrate on your tasks and “you can do it!”
Magical Advice: Some help is needed with regards to your studies, so don’t be afraid to ask for it.

You can finally relax and be yourself. Still, you must put in effort towards the end of the academic year. Overall, you will feel full of energy and will gain some well-deserved rewards.

Magical Advice: Your heart confuses you, but sit back and enjoy the beautiful times that are ahead!

okie.. i copied this for a reason..

FIFTH DECEMBER FALLS IN THE DRAGON HOROSCOPE. (:
that rane made me high in the middle of the night.. hahaha.. but..

I MISS HIM. ):

with LOVE, jacyie.

my mind isn't thinking of the right stuffs at this critical point of time.. STUDY STUDY STUDY!


i guess it's time i watch every step i'm making before taking any step forward.. looking out for holes and walk past them.. not fall into them anymore.. i didn't want to fall into them.. but it couldn't be helped.. it takes great pain and effort to come back up again.. and.. now.. i'm trying hard..


so afterall.. my expectations aren't that high.. if they were then.. i wouldn't be feeling what i am now.. i hate it this way.. once again.. i'm beginning to dislike life.. but i guess.. it's jus the pre-examinations stress.. it'll soon be over.. i'll be fine..


the happy-go-lucky girl will be back in two weeks' time.. i know myself too well.. but then again.. i miss his voice.. he sings well.. his humbleness.. his shyness.. his everything.. clearly set in my mind.. i miss him.. ):



i have no idea why i'm blogging so very often suddenly.. but.. yes.. STUDY! i'll work hard! ^^

with LOVE, jacyie.

it's FOUR days to my first english paper @ 9 in the morning.. and i'm currently still not in my studying mood.. i seriously dun understand why.. there's so much to study.. yet so little time.. and i'm still here seated in front of this 15" monitor typing this entry..


i need some motivation.. and i can't seem to find it.. CAN SOMEONE KINDLY HELP ME?


going through this period.. the question of 'did i make the right choice?' always appear before me.. seriously.. i dunno.. it brings upon great pride in me that i'm afterall a local university student.. but everyone who understands me well would definitely know i'm neither a studious nor smart girl.. I LEAD A SIMPLE LIFE.

but i guess i've jus complicated my life by choosing this path.. and i guess there's no return.. everyone's against me dropping out.. thus the only thing that could be done now is to try my best to clear this three years in school.. and thereafter.. i have no idea..


who made life so difficult? can't it be much simplier?


STRESSED.

with LOVE, jacyie.

it's officially SEVEN days to my first examination in nus..
the most important fact..
i have yet touch a tinny-winny bit of my revision.. DEAD.

but i'm already looking forward to the last day of my examinations.. ^^
30th November, 2006. Here I Come! (:


let's back track a little..

had a memorable time on the 11th.. i'll always remember.. though things are getting very different compared to that day itself.. i'll still thank them for the wonderful memories..

completed and submitted our astronomy essay.. and i feel so confident about it.. heez.. though our results will either be super good or super horrible.. but i'm looking at the bright side.. (:
interested to read our daring attempt of an academic paper? get it from me.. ^^

14th November 2006; HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM. ^^v.

my last assignment is completed! japanese studies' 7500 word essay is done.. totally relieved when i dropped it into the teacher's mailbox.. totally happy.. while everyone began worrying for the examinations.. i was already enjoying myself out shopping.. haha.. that's how happy-go-lucky i am..





looking forward..

will be accompanying limYUMIN to see her sunshine.. (:
see i'm such a nice and cute little girl.. my dear girl.. please go count how many times i pei you go see them already.. =p


POUTS.
24th November, 2006; English for Academic Purposes.
25th November, 2006; Economics. and my drive to studying hard.. to see HIM again.. (:
29th November, 2006; History. DEAD.
30th November, 2006; MY LAST PAPERS!! Japanese Studies and Media.
SMILES.


it's time for celebration! haha.. my birthday will be a few days just after that.. heez.. time really really flies.. i thought i had just celebrated it last month or something.. and it's here once again.. meaning.. i'm getting older.. CRIES.

then it'll be christmas once again.. and christmas reminds me of KARLYN's birthday.. (:

COUNTDOWN! heez.. for some reason.. i'm super looking forward to this year's countdown.. haha.. though just two days later.. it'll be school re-opening again.. but.. it's alright.. i'm happy!

hope my holidays will be super fun-filling and wonderful..


ALL THE BEST to everyone who's going through the examinations period like me.. ^^v.

with LOVE, jacyie.

sometimes.. i jus feel that.. i always give my all for everyone around me.. but do i even get the minimum that i expect in return? although.. i shouldn't have expected anything.. but.. to the least.. i shouldn't be treated the way i am now..

have she even ever stood in my shoes and thought how i would have felt? whenever she needed me.. i'll always be there.. giving her my sincere care and concern when she's down.. giving her my best wishes and luck whenever she needed them.. my feelings becomes undescrible anymore.. words aren't enough to describe the pain i'm feeling now.. ):


stress is accumulating in me.. why can't i be loved like everyone else.. why do i always have to be the giving party? how long can i continue to display the cheerful me before everyone till the day i finally breakdown.. when i finally withdraw from this society to live in the world of my own?


i hope life was like a fairytale.. fairytale always ends in happiness.. joy.. peace.. and love.. but my life consist of hardship.. pressure.. saddness and wat's more.. hurt and pain.. ):


goodbye to the world.. i'm contracting into my own fairytale.. may examinations be as smooth flowing as ever.. ^^


<3. love.

with LOVE, jacyie.